Let’s start with why I am up at 3am writing a blog about the upcoming birthday boy. I again felt belittled by doing what I thought I was supposed to do. Per the birthday boy. I was wrong.
When I told Xander he could do whatever he wanted to do for his birthday, I should have known it would revolve around sex. He is a man anyways. We came up with the idea of flying to Florida to go to this big swingers resort in Orlando called Secrets. He did the research and figured out about the cost to go there. The only thing really holding us back is that stupid Corona virus. So with that being said, that was how we came up with the plans that we did.
Feeling it safer to stay in Ohio, and realizing that he would rather be surrounded by and play with people we were familiar with then go somewhere brand new in an area you don’t know with all new people.
So the plan was as followed, one of the couples we play with would be out of town his actual birthday weekend. So what he came up with was that he wanted two parties per se. On his birthday weekend, we are going to head up to Eros in Cleveland. The premise is basically he wants to get me buzzed and then see how many people I can get to play with there and back at our hotel room that night. I am usually the more social one so he thinks it would be fun to see me seek out people to bring back to him.
Then the following weekend he wants to have a hotel party. We called it a “familiar” LS hotel party. Meaning that the only people invited are people that we know and or have played with before.
So I told him that I would make an event and invite everyone. I am pretty sure he has asked me at least once a day since and that was 3 days ago. So I could see this was important to him. Probably more then I will ever really know. His last birthday party was when he was 11 years old. He invited an ass-ton of kids with notice to this party, and no one showed up but like two kids. As a kid with already poor social skills and self-esteem, this was detrimental! To the point, he has never wanted another one since. Till now, and even then he is on the fence about it. I think the little kid in him is still afraid no one will show up. In which I have tried to convince him that that’s not the case and that people like him, and he has been making all sorts of friends since being in the lifestyle.
Tonight when we got home he asked me yet again about the party if I were going to make an invite or just make a group chat? So again I could see this was a big deal for him and he wanted to make sure people had ample time to get off work or find a babysitter for the night.
So when I got in bed I started making the event for his birthday. We agreed that we would pick a central location for everyone to gather, but that we would not get the room until we knew how many people were able to go. We made the time to start at 6pm and ending at checkout the next day. I feel like when it came time to add people to invite, I thought to myself, hmm, I will invite all the ls friends I have added to my FB recently, as well as anyone we have played with already as well. Hit Send! NOW the party is OFFICAL!
I should feel good right about now, right? I did as he wished and at least the plans are made. Right? That would prove to be too easy. Here is a list of things apparently I already messed up.
- I invited people I had talked to that we had yet to actually meet up/play before
- I invited people that are soft swap and not all hard swap
- I invited a couple that the guy is full and the girl chose f/f only play and how that will make their night because normally we wouldn’t play with them because we have an equal rule
- So instead of making him feel important that I invited so many possibilities, he felt awkward and not as confident in going.
He then basically spent the rest of the night in a sulk like being. How does this shit keep happening? Am I nuts? Am I really this oblivious? Or am I not the one in the wrong here? I don’t feel like I should be feeling like I did something wrong or bad. I was honestly just trying to make him feel special by having a big get together, to show him people do want to be around him, and that he is more than just my sidekick or shadow.
Instead, it feels like I ruined what he wanted his birthday to be. So needless to say I am a little confused and hurt. Here I am trying to make him have a great birthday, and we didn’t even do anything for mine. Not to be a selfish person. It just he makes such a big deal about everything being equal, however, how come things like this don’t count? How come I’m sitting here wondering what I did wrong and how do I fix it? Why I didn’t get a thanks babe, or even acknowledge that this is defiantly not equal but that it means something to him?
Instead, all I got was an this was not what we talked ab0ut, and I was indeed surprised by the people you invited. Cool your welcome. I’m so glad I signed up for this.
Sincerely,
Your Butthurt Wife.
